Anxiety is reaching epidemic proportions with nearly 50% of Americans meeting the criteria for an anxiety disorder at some point in their life. We worry about money, our health, safety, car accidents, whether or not people like us, traveling, work, and more. All this worry takes a huge toll-wasting an enormous amount of time and energy that would be better spent elsewhere. An often overlooked area of concern is the impact of anxiety on our close relationships. Dr. Christine Korol is a cognitive-behavioral therapist who specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders and sees the consequences of untreated anxiety on the relationships of many of her patients.

Dr. Christine Korol is a psychologist specializing in anxiety and stress in adults and children and is currently practicing in Calgary, Alberta. She has worked for many years, in both private practice and in hospital settings, and is a former lecturer at the University of British Columbia. Christine is also a cartoonist and author of the blog Wired to Worry and is currently working on an illustrated guide on anxiety management. To find out more about Dr. Korol you can visit her site, Therapy Works.

Is the difference in age between you and your partner causing tension in your marriage?  Is it getting difficult to deal with others’ perceptions and opinions of your relationship?  Colette Segalla joins us to talk about both the challenges and benefits of relationships between partners of significantly different ages, and to tell us how you can get the most out of your marriage.

Colette is a therapist with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC. She’s had extensive training and experience working with people of all ages, and has also had specific training in the field of adult relationships, using an integrated approach to help couples overcome both their individual and relational problems to improve their relationships. You can find her online at  LepageAssociates.com or call the office at 919-572-0000 to schedule an appointment.

Is your marriage no longer magical, but just plain miserable?  Does it feel like you’re trapped with no way of fixing things, to the point where you’re fantasizing about divorce, or worse?  Alisa Bowman returns to the show to discuss her upcoming book, Project: Happily Ever After – Saving Your Marriage When the Fairytale Falters, a personal account of her marriage at its worst and how she and her husband managed to put the pieces back together.

Alisa keeps up a blog at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com, and has been featured on news shows and in publications across the country.  Her book, which comes out December 28, can be preordered from Amazon.com, and will be available after its release at all major booksellers.

Does 10 years of marriage seem like a piece of cake, or have you made it through the first ten years and wonder if you’ll make it for another 10?

Dr. Tina Lepage returns to the show to let us behind the curtain of what a marriage counselor’s relationship is like and shares what she has done to keep her marriage strong for a decade.

Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

No matter how many “Happy Holidays” wishes you receive, the season can be just as stressful as it is enjoyable, and that stress can be even greater if you’re part of a blended family. Does shuffling the kids from one home to another feel too disruptive? Does it seem impossible to meet everyone’s vision of that perfect Christmas morning?

Barbara Keyworth returns to the show to talk about the issues stepfamilies face when it comes to the holidays, and to share tips on relieving some of that stress and making the season a happy one for all. Barbara is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a practice in Raleigh and 23 years of experience. Her website is BKeyworth.com, where you can find out more about her counseling services and qualifications, and you can call her office at 919.783.8004 for an appointment.

Do you sometimes feel like you’ve lost yourself in your marriage? Has putting the focus on the two of you as a pair started to make you feel insecure with yourself? Andrea Gross joins us on the show to discuss how a healthy marriage starts with you as an individual, and has everything to do with your perception of yourself.

Andrea is a certified lifestyle coach who knows what it’s like to deal with all the complications of life, relationships and family today. You can find out more about her and her coaching services by visiting her website, AndreaGrossOnline.com.

The biggest hurdle to fixing a relationship plagued by conflict is acknowledging the problem, but how do you resolve the underlying disputes without falling into old habits and fighting even more? Will strategies designed for both spouses be effective when only one spouse is willing to work toward solving the problem?

Paul Shaffer returns to the show to share five tools you can start using today to disarm hostile and repetitive conflicts.

Paul has been a professional counselor for almost 25 years and currently owns his own practice, Right Choices Counseling, in Huntersville, NC. You can find out more about Paul and his practice at RightChoicescounseling.com, or by calling 704.578.2725. You can also purchase Paul’s books, Conflict Resolution for Couples, and Conflict Resolution for Christian Couples from Amazon.com, or by visiting the publisher directly, at AuthorHouse.com

Are you in a last-minute panic about which flowers to buy, where to make dinner reservations, and whether or not you bought this same card for your wife last year? Are you trying to figure out how to top the Valentine’s Day gift you bought last February? Dr. Michael Hall returns to the show to share four sure-fire steps for husbands trying to make a good impression as well as discussing how to move away from focusing on the ever bigger box of candy or flower arrangement and instead paying attention to the individual needs and emotions of your wife.

Michael owns a private practice with his wife Barbara in Charlotte, NC where he not only works with individuals and couples for relationship and marriage counseling, he is a well known figure in the corporate and career counseling world as well. You can give Michael a call at 704.858.2984 to find out more.

Sometimes, a lack of sex can be due to unresolved issues in the marriage, but often, It’s simply that we’ve become too caught up with daily life to change the status quo. Grab a pen, because Dr. Tina Lepage joins us to share seven (actually eight!) tips you can put to work right now to start having better sex more frequently with your spouse.

Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

Has a lack of sex become an indicator of bigger problems in your marriage? Is the stress of raising kids and working simply compounding the problem? Alisa Bowman joins us to discuss why it is so easy to write off a sexless marriage as finished, why we lose desire in the first place, and what you can do to both desire, and be desired by your spouse.

Alisa is an accomplished and respected author and blogger responsible for numerous health and wellbeing best sellers. She currently blogs about marriage at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com, where you can sign up for email updates, or browse by categories like conflict, sex, happiness, and kids.

With a baby on the way, life can become even more hectic than usual and your relationship with your spouse can be one of the first things to suffer. The physical changes can be hard enough to deal with, but what impact do changes in mood, increased responsibility, and the limelight (or lack thereof for dads) of pregnancy have on the relationship? Does the length of time you’ve been married before having a child make things easier? Dr. Kristen Wynns returns tot he show to take a look at how factors like length of marriage, number of other children, and emotional preparedness can impact intimacy with your spouse.

Dr. Wynns has a newly relocated practice in Cary, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a brand new blog called Marriage and Parenting 101 with great advice for parents.

Have you ever asked yourself if your spouse is the right person for you? Do you find that your marriage presents challenges you didn’t expect and wonder if you aren’t as “compatible” with your spouse as you thought? Rabbi Stephen Baars joins us to discuss why we have these feelings, what our expectations of marriage can do to influence them, and how to get back to the point of certainty you had when you first fell in love.

Rabbi Baars has been counseling couples on their marriages for over 20 years.  Rabbi Baars is dedicated to helping couples get on the right track to marriage success. You can find out more about Rabbi Baars seminars and lectures, as well as his book, Bliss: The Marriage and Parenting Book, at his website, www.GetBliss.com

Has physical intimacy taken a back seat to other responsibilities in your marriage?  Have you tried rekindling the spark you and your spouse had when you were first married with little success? Terry Northcutt, Director of Marriage Enrichment Programs with the Family Dynamics Institute,  joins us to discuss how to strengthen that intimate bond and bring passion back to your marriage.  He also discusses the programs and seminars available that are designed to help married couples renew their intimacy.

Terry is a former senior pastor who now serves as the Director of Marriage Enrichment Programs  at the Family Dynamics Institute.    You can find out more about the Family Dynamics Institute and the multitude of courses and workshops they offer by calling 800-650-9995, or visiting FamilyDynamics.net and SaveMyMarriage.com.

Do you ever wish you could bring back the excitement and energy you and your spouse had when dating, or have you just accepted that your relationship won’t have the sizzle it did at the beginning? Author Lindsey Rietzsch joins us to talk about why you shouldn’t stop dating your spouse just because you are married and shares her favorite tips for putting the spark back in your relationship.

Lindsey started out designing and teaching self management and relationship courses, one of which was so popular that it inspired the book “How To Date Your Spouse”. You can find out more about Lindsey and her book on her website, HowToDateYourSpouse.com, which also includes Lindsey’s blog and relationship forum. Buy How to Date Your Spouse from Amazon.com

What’s the secret to a lifelong marriage? Sheryl Kurland, author of “Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More”, joins us to share what she learned from the 75 happily married couples she interviewed for her book, and how to put their advice to work in your relationship.

You can find out more about Sheryl and the book on her website, EverlastingMatrimony.com, which also features information about the corporate seminars and relationship workshops she offers for employers. Order Everlasting Matrimony
now at Amazon.com

It would be nice to sit down with everyone for dinner or a discussion, but with everyone’s busy lives, is rounding up the family for some time together even possible? Dr. Kristen Wynns returns to the show to share her tips on working family time into a hectic schedule and discusses the importance of regular family communication (including the kids) on your marriage.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Durham, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a brand new blog called Marriage and Parenting 101

Financial stress can take a toll on even the strongest marriages and in today’s uncertain economic climate, the differences in spending habits between spouses, lack of a family budget, and everyday money issues put us all at risk of a meltdown.

Dr. Kim Kimberling joins us to discuss the money mistakes he sees couples making on a daily basis and shares his tips for keeping your bank account in the black and your marriage on solid ground.

Dr. Kimberling has been a professional counselor for over twenty years and is the President and co-founder of Family Christian Counseling in Oklahoma City. You can learn more about Dr. Kimberling and  his popular Prep for Marriage classes at PrepForMarriage.com. While you’re there, be sure to take a look at his latest book, Living the Marriage of a Lifetime, as well.

Lee and Kim also discuss Dave Ramsey’s excellent online financial resources, available at www.DaveRamsey.com

Apologizing can be a lot more difficult than it seems. Dr. Kristen Wynns joins us to discuss why some of us find it so hard to apologize to our spouses, the impact of always needing to be right on a marriage, why making your spouse believe your apology is for real can be difficult, as well as her 5 steps for a sincere and constructive apology.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Durham, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a brand new blog called Marriage and Parenting 101

Is your bedroom so cluttered or so spartan that relaxation and romance are simply impossible? Most of us are guilty of either filling up the bedroom with junk that won’t fit anywhere else, or treating it like a cold and sterile museum. Jenna Boyd joins us to cover common mistakes in bedroom organization and to share tips and simple changes you can make today to turn your bedroom into a stress-free haven for intimacy and romance.

Jenna is a certified practitioner of Feng Shui, a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers, and contributor to PINK Magazine. You can find out more about Jenna at ElementsOfHarmony.com or by calling her office at 919.757.2732

Everyone has incidents where a spouse (either husband or wife) is resistant to cooperation or compromise. What kind of factors lead to this behavior? Do parents, social norms, or other factors have a bigger impact?

Dr. Tina Lepage joins us to discuss common issues where husbands and wives have disagreements and how to assess and resolve these issues. Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

Choosing a marriage counselor can be a difficult and sometimes scary task. Where do you find a qualified counselor? Will your insurance cover therapy? How can you be sure that you and your spouse are getting the most out of therapy and that the counselor you have selected is a good fit for your relationship? Amy McMillan joins us to share some tips on where to look and what to look for in a prospective counselor.

Amy is a Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor. She has been in private practice since 1999 at her Cary office and recently opened up a satellite office in Raleigh. To find out more about Amy and the services she offers, visit her at CaryBehavioral.com and BelieveInTherapy.com

Whether It’s picking up the kids, checking email on the blackberry, obsessing over a conversation at work last week, or worrying about what to do for dinner tonight – we’re all trying to do 100 things at once. It’s tempting to stay busy in an effort to feel productive, but what if all of this busyness is really causing more stress and anxiety?

Dr. Suzan Wasik joins us to talk about what happens to our quality of life when our minds are cluttered with everything and nothing at the same time, the impact that has on our relationships – especially marriage, and what you can do to keep your mind clutter free while getting more done and making your relationship with your spouse a top priority.

You can find out a lot more about Suzan at the Carolina Care and Counseling website, at CarolinaCareInc.com, or by calling the office at 919.676.1497. There is also a lot of great information at the SOMA Consulting website, where she offers small group workshops, organizational consulting, and retreats - ManagingTheMonkeyMind.com

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We would like to thank you for listening to our show every week and wish you all a very happy Valentine’s Day. It’s rare that we have more than a few quick minutes in a day to really communicate with our spouses, but It’s important to take every opportunity we can to communicate. It seems like our fast-paced lives often make communication more difficult, but we have far more options now that make keeping in touch throughout the day a whole lot easier. Whatever you do for Valentine’s day, make sure that you do it together and take time to communicate. Thanks again!

Is your living space having a negative impact on your relationship? Many couples would not think that the home environment itself can have an effect on marital bliss, but Jenna Boyd and Susan Orenstein, Ph.D. join us to discuss how clutter, color, and emotional distractions can create stress and tension that robs your marriage of intimacy.

Susan is a licensed Psychologist with offices in Cary, NC and Chapel Hill, NC and you can find out more about her practice by visiting her website at OrensteinSolutions.com or calling her office at 919.654.7311

Jenna is a certified practitioner of Feng Shui, a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers, and contributor to PINK Magazine. You can find out more about Jenna at ElementsOfHarmony.com or by calling her office at 919.757.2732

It’s tough not to be busy these days, but can over-extending yourself and not placing enough importance on your own needs be detrimental to your marriage? Dr. Pat Hogan joins us to discuss how putting all of your focus on others, including your spouse, can actually make you emotionally unavailable for your partner. Neglecting your own well-being, whether because of work or family commitments can actually cause resentment of your spouse.

Dr. Hogan covers some of the specific pitfalls that women face in balancing work with the cultural expectations of still being the main caregiver in a family, as well problems with misinterpreting self-care as selfishness.

You can find many more great tips from Dr. Hogan, as well as information about her practice in Charlotte, NC, by visiting her website at DrPatHogan.com, or calling her office at 704.442.0035

By Susan Orenstein, Ph.D.

In our daily lives, there are lots of routine ways we check to make sure things are on track. Consider, for example, annual medical check-up, kids’ report cards, car tune-ups, monthly bank statements, or the dreaded work evaluation.  All are seen as a way to proactively detect and address problems to keep things on track.   So, why are many people hesitant to seek professional feedback and help for their marriage?

Couples counseling can seem like a daunting step to take.  Here are several misconceptions that explain many couples’ reluctance to seek couples counseling…

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You can find out more about Susan Orenstein, including her upcoming seminars and other articles by visiting her website, OrensteinSolutions.com

Do you find youself immediately jumping to the conclusion that everything your spouse does is meant to upset you? Patty Newbold joins us to discuss how assuming that your spouse is acting out of love can prevent countless marital problems and give you a healthier perspective on your relationship.

Patty also covers how prone we are to locking into a very limited number of solutions to conflicts in our marriages and what you can do to find alternatives that not only solve the problem, but do so without creating more tension between you and your spouse.

You can find out more about Patty on her blog, AssumeLove.com and you can access her podcasts, ebooks, and teleseminars by visiting EnjoyBeingMarried.com

Married life can be hectic – are you taking time to cover the nuts and bolts of your relationship on a regular basis? Cory Huff from AGoodHusband.net and HusbandsAndDads.com joins us to talk about a weekly 4 Step Relationship Review that he has implemented in his marriage and the impact it has had on his relationship.

Cory discusses how he came up with the review, how to deal with a spouse who may be hesitant to participate, and important topics to cover, including finances, priorities, and obligations. You can read Cory’s article on the review here, and read his other articles at both AGoodHusband.net and HusbandsAndDads.com

Parenting can be tough and sometimes all your hard work can come at the expense of your spouse. It’s easy to neglect each other when you’re focusing on the children – the key is to save some of the focus for both of you. Rabbi Stephen Baars has been counseling couples on their marriages for over 20 years and joins us to discuss the BLISS program he designed to help couples manage the roles of both parent and spouse.

Rabbi Baars is dedicated to helping couples get on the right track to marriage success. You can find out more about Rabbi Baars seminars and lectures, as well as his book, Bliss: The Marriage and Parenting Book, at his website, www.GetBliss.com

What makes a marriage counselor decide to go in for counseling? Jennifer Coleman is a Life Transition Coach with Rosen Law Firm who has worked as a marriage counselor as well and joins us to talk about her experience visiting a marriage therapist with her husband. Jennifer discusses how she and her husband decided on a counselor, why they decided to go, how many sessions they needed, and how they knew when their issues were resolved.

Jennifer discusses the initial apprehension that even she had about seeing a therapist and shares some tips on making the process more comfortable for both you and your spouse. She also gives advice on the benefits of seeing a counselor before any major crises arise and how to focus on your spouse and your marriage amidst the stressors of daily life.

It’s always nice to be reminded that you’ve made a good decision, and being married and involved in your child’s life are two of the greatest decisions you can make. Roland Warren, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative joins us to discuss the NFI’s popular brochure, The 7 Benefits of Marriage For Men. Roland covers the the impact of marriage on the quality of life of men, as well as the immeasurably positive effects of being an involved father.

Roland has been married for 26 years and has two grown sons, and now serves as President of the National Fatherhood Initiative. To find out more about the National Fatherhood Initiative, visit Fatherhood.org –  the website offers a host of resources, from webinars and downloadable materials, to community programs and events for schools, dads in the military, and more.

It’s always better to stop a problem before it begins than trying to fix it after the fact.  Dr. Betty Phillips joins us to discuss some of the underlying causes of marital infidelity and why problems couples have that may seem trivial or unrelated to the relationship can lead to affairs.  Dr. Phillips also takes time to discuss some of the common indicators that a marriage needs more attention to ensure that infidelity does not become a reality.

Dr. Phillips holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Harvard University and is certified by the National Register of Psychologists. She specializes in relationship and marriage counseling, including helping couples deal with the challenge of recovering from infidelity. Her office is located at 466 Eagle Point Rd. Pittsboro, NC 27312. You can find out more about Dr. Phillips practice, as well as other articles she has written on her website, or by contacting her at (919) 967.1860

Keeping your marriage healthy takes a lot of work under the best of circumstances.  Tina Tessina, a.k.a. “Dr. Romance”, joins us to talk about her latest book, The Commuter Marriage and discusses what steps couples can take when one spouse is away for days or weeks at a time.

Work assignments, better paying jobs, and military deployments are just a few of the circumstances that can put a couple in the position of having a commuter marriage.  Tina takes a look at the issues a couple needs to address to make sure the time apart doesn’t adversely impact their relationship, as well as examining the benefits that time apart can provide a couple.

Tina is the author of 13 books and is a licenced psychotherapist with 30 years of experience in counseling.  Her website, TinaTessina.com, offers much more information about her workshops, appearances, and book signings, as well as a free newsletter and blog on marriage tips.

You can order a copy of The Commuter Marriage from Amazon.com by clicking here.

Bill and Pam Farrel join us to talk about their book, The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, and explain the importance of emotions and communication in making decisions for the good of your relationship.

The Farrels also discuss the importance of keeping a positive outlook regardless of the challenges your relationship faces, as well as how great an impact keeping a sense of humor, even in trying times, can have on your marriage.

The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make is out now on Harvest House Publishers.  Order it now on Amazon.  You can visit their website, FarrelCommunications.com for signed copies of this and other books, as well as more information about Bill and Pam’s CD sets and speaking engagements.

Does the idea of visiting a marriage counselor seem like admitting a problem in your relationship, or do you just find the whole experience intimidating? Licenced therapist Sonyia Richardson joins us to put your fears to rest by walking through a first visit and covering the benefits of counseling to both couples who are struggling with particular issues and happily married couples.

You can find out more about Sonyia’s Charlotte practice on her website, SonyiaRichardson.com, or by calling her office at 704.548.5498. For more information on her couples retreats, visit www.AnotherLevelRetreats.com

Every marriage has ups and downs, but it can sometimes be difficult to make sure that the inevitable disappointments don’t grow into larger problems and adversely affect a couple’s relationship. Dr. Steevie Jane Parks takes time to discuss some common events that lead to disappointment in a marriage and how each spouse reacts, as well as how couples can take these challenges head-on and use them to strengthen their relationship.

Dr. Steevie Jane Parks has been practicing for more than 20 years and currently lives and works in Carrboro, NC, where she offers couples and family counseling, as well as art therapy workshops and self-esteem building groups for adolescents. More information about Dr. Parks’ services is available on her website, DrSteevieJaneParks.com, or by calling her office at 919.918.1014.

By Betty Phillips

Why do people think twice about calling a marriage counselor when they don’t hesitate to call other specialists for professional services? Tax advisers, interior designers, home inspectors, doctors, dentists, all stand ready to provide advice and consultation services when requested. There’s no need for any admission of failure when you call a tax adviser; you just shop for the best adviser for your issues. Just as there is no shame in calling a tax adviser, there should be no embarrassment about calling a marriage counselor. In fact you should feel proud to call a therapist to provide professional services for your most valued assets, your marriage and family. You can call for marriage counseling assistance as prevention, intervention or crisis management.

We care for our cars by checking oil levels, inflating tires and scheduling tune-ups to keep the automobile running smoothly and prevent future problems. Similarly, a marriage counselor can provide preventive maintenance services. Prenuptial counseling is frequently discussed but seldom utilized as the couple’s romantic bliss obscures all but the most serious impending problems. Most couples don’t even consider marriage counseling as the relationship begins to settle down into daily life issues and as stresses and strains start to erode the “live happily ever after” myth. In this article I’m asking you to consider a round of marriage counseling before typical marriage concerns (such as finances, parenting, division-of-labor, in-laws, or sexual compatibility problems) take over. After an initial consultation, the couple and therapist step back for an informal “evaluation” of the marital issues and begin a plan of sessions sometimes with “homework” to practice new skills. Far from being just a clinical analysis of conflict management issues, the prevention plan will often focus on new ways for the couple to have fun together such as date nights to preserve or improve love and intimacy.

When emerging problems harden into ongoing frustrations and then into conflicts, and when problems keep recurring without resolution, the intervention of marriage counseling will often put the marriage back into balance. Some issues can be resolved during the sessions, while the couple can learn to live with other problems. Marriage counseling services provide a retreat from everyday stress and a place to focus on the marriage with an experienced adviser to mediate disputes and teach new skills. While conflict resolution skills are important at this stage, the couple will also learn about the need to prioritize positive interactions to build up a “love bank” to protect the marriage from the wounds of hurt and anger. Far from feeling guilty that they “need” marriage counseling, husband and wife should be proud of their accomplishments in taking steps to face the tough issues and improve the quality of their relationship and their lives.

Crisis intervention marriage counseling is needed when thoughts of escape from the marriage surface in the form of conflict behaviors such as withdrawal and stonewalling, violent arguments, extramarital affairs, thoughts or talk about separation and divorce. Such problems often follow a phase of “pretend everything is all right.” Rather than deny or bury the pain, marriage counseling will help the couple focus on resolving the problems and can often turn the crisis into an improved marriage. Marriages can be saved even when extramarital affairs are discovered, although the process is slow and painful. If your marriage is in crisis, don’t wait! It can be too late.

What if your spouse won’t participate in marriage counseling? Then you will need to take action yourself. Even when both husband and wife agree to the marriage counseling, you can only change yourself, not your spouse. Marriage counselors are also individual therapists and often tackle marriage problems with the willing spouse.

Even if your marriage is headed toward separation or divorce, most marriage counselors are also experienced in handling these issues. Friendly support and advice can feel like life savers at this time of crisis. It can be a mistake for husband or wife to try to hang on to the marriage because of fear of exiting into a lonely, loveless existence. Separation and divorce can be a chance to build a new and improved life in the face of irreconcilable differences.

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Dr. Phillips holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Harvard University and is certified by the National Register of Psychologists. She specializes in relationship and marriage counseling, including helping couples deal with the challenge of recovering from infidelity. Her office is located at 466 Eagle Point Rd. Pittsboro, NC 27312. You can find out more about Dr. Phillips practice, as well as other articles she has written on her website, or by contacting her at (919) 967.1860

Anniversaries are wonderful, but It’s easy to fall into the “flowers and dinner once a year” routine. Dr. Susan Orenstein returns to discuss what anniversaries mean in the context of marriage, and how they can be fantastic tools for appreciating your spouse improving your relationship. She explores the little things spouses can do to make each other feel connected, and the idea that time is more important than any gift.

Dr. Orenstein is a licensed psychologist with offices in Cary, NC and Chapel Hill NC. She specializes in couples counseling dealing with issues including intimacy, marital satisfaction, affair recovery, and work/family balance. You can find out more about Susan’s practice and seminars by visiting her site: OrensteinSolutions.com, or calling her office at (919) 654 – 7311.

Happy Father’s Day! Dr. Susan Orenstein discusses the importance of the father’s role in a successful marriage and happy family, which has changed from being the distant, work-oriented bread winner to being a nurturing caregiver with greater participation in his children’s activities and lives. Dr. Orenstein debunks many myths about marriage and fatherhood which have been perpetuated, if not created entirely, by what we see in Hollywood films or what we learn from our parents. Fathers are not the disinterested figures with low-expectations for their wives and children that they can be made out to be; rather, most fathers value the special bonds in their relationships with their families and often do not voice their greater expectations.

Dr. Orenstein is a licensed psychologist with offices in Cary, NC and Chapel Hill NC. She specializes in couples counseling dealing with issues including intimacy, marital satisfaction, affair recovery, and work/family balance. You can find out more about Susan’s practice and seminars by visiting her site: orensteinsolutions.com, or calling her office at (919) 654 – 7311.

“Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids” takes a look at restoring the intimate bond between spouses after the changes in life that take place once children enter the picture. Author Kimberly Ford discusses the book and what prompted her to write it, as well as what she learned in the process. The book explores the importance of physical intimacy in making a couple feel like spouses and adults – not just parents. “Hump” is available July 8th on St. Martin’s Press.

Kimberly lives in California with her husband and three children. She received her Ph.D. in Spanish and French Literature in 2001 and since then has published short fiction and essays in magazines including Mothering, The Believer, and Brain, Child. You can find out more about Kimberly and her other work at kimberlyvford.com. To find out more about “Hump”, please visit humpthebook.com, where you can share your stories as well.

Click here to pre-order the book from Amazon.com.

Why are we quick to repair a clog in the kitchen sink, but let problems in our relationship pile up without fixing them? In this episode, Sharyn Wolf discusses her book “This Old Spouse: Tips and Tools for Keeping the Honeymoon Glow”, and how relating issues with your spouse to issues with your house not only makes it possible to approach and fix problems in a more practical manner, but to appreciate the positive attributes of your marriage more than you do already. Sharyn also goes into detail about the 5 tools that “do-it-yourselfers” need to start solving problems on their own, as well as the 5 behaviors more likely to do harm than benefit to a relationship.

You can find out more about the book at www.this-old-spouse.com, which also includes Sharyn’s blog, reviews of the book, reader stories, and information about Sharyn’s workshops, seminars and counseling services. Click here to order the book in hardcover, or here to pre-order the paperback edition (out June 24 on Plume Books).

Do changes in desire for your spouse mean that you are no longer in love? Debbie Neel, PhD. discusses how intimacy and desire mature over the course of a marriage and how to understand and enjoy a deeper relationship with your spouse. Physiological and hormonal changes that occur throughout a marriage may often send the wrong signal about loving one’s spouse, as does the waning sense of intimacy that can come from dealing with the mountain of day-to-day tasks that are pushed aside during the initial romance of a marriage.

Debbie Neel is a licenced psychologist, certified health services provider and certified sex therapist with a private practice in Raleigh North Carolina. She specializes in individual adult and couples therapy, sex therapy, and attention deficit disorder in adults. To find out more about Debbie and her practice, visit her website at http://www.atriumpsychology.com, or call her at (919) 781-8810.

It can be difficult to make an intimate relationship with your spouse a priority when a few years of work, kids, and other day-to-day responsibilities have crept in to your lives. When communication breaks down, the temptation to seek fulfillment outside of the marriage becomes much greater. Sherri Hughes, Certified Life Coach, Reiki Master, and Hypnotherapist, discusses what it takes to get a relationship back on track before serious problems arise.

Sherri practices in Raleigh North Carolina and offers a complementary 15 minute consultation to anyone interested in seeking marriage counseling. You can contact Sherri and find out more about her services by visiting her website at http://www.journeybeginswithin.com.

Hindsight is 20/20, but sometimes we can learn from the mistakes of others and avoid problems ourselves. Host Lee Rosen and guest Jennifer Coleman, a divorce coach with the Rosen Law Firm, discuss Jennifer’s experience in what she has learned about keeping a relationship strong by examining where others have fallen apart.

This episode touches on issues that commonly cause problems in a marriage, like lack of communication, but also goes deeper into issues such as setting goals in the interest of the marriage instead of the self, and what steps can be taken to repair a relationship if one party is considering a divorce.

You can find out more about Jennifer at the Rosen Law Firm website.

You can access a transcript of this show here.

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Valentine’s Day is coming up fast. Love is on the line. Don’t blow it! Listen to this podcast. In 20 minutes you will learn what you need to know to make this the best Valentine’s Day ever.

10 successful marriage counselors share their top tips for how to stay happily married on Valentine’s Day. Don’t leave anything to chance – listen to this podcast – twice.

By Charlotte A. Michie, MS, MSW, LCSW

Relationships are like gardens; they can be thriving with lots of flowers, or overrun with weeds. Marriages, like gardens, need tending for them to prosper.
Ten ways to cultivate your intimate relationship are:

1. Be open to change. Change is something that can not be avoided. Learn to embrace it by focusing on “what is” rather than on “what should be”.
2. Learn to listen. Real listening is based on intention. If your intention is on getting your needs met, then you are not doing real listening but pseudo listening.
3. Be open to new ways of being together. Consider doing different activities as a couple as a way to add zest to your relationship.
4. Take care of yourself. The ability to love another person is based on how well you care for your self.
5. Be grateful, each day, for one thing about your companion. Accent the positive rather than the negative. Your relationship will thrive.
6. Be generous. Difficulties arise when the focus is exclusively on what is wrong in the relationship. Remember your spouse, like you, is doing their best.
7. Ask for support. Your spouse is not a mind reader. Let your spouse know how you want to be supported.
8. Risk being vulnerable. Be willing to let your spouse know how you feel rather than pretend or avoid your feelings.
9. Make time for each other. Scheduling time together, on a weekly basis, will alleviate stress in your marriage.
10. Learn to respond to each other rather than react. Reacting is an impulsive act. While it may provide immediate relief, it will often have long-term negative consequences.